Day 1 | Auckland to Rotorua | Maori legends and mythology have been passed down orally for thousands of years. You have one night in this sacred meeting house, so pay attention. After learning the tongue-thrusting Haka dance moves of the All Blacks, and the finesse of the ladies Poi dance, polishing off a traditional maori dinner and rubbing noses, you will no longer be a guest but a part of their people. You lucky thing.
Day 2 | Rotorua | Goodness gracious, Great (Pacific) Ring of Fire! Mud, Middle Earth and massages are the order of the day in the bubbling, gurgling and sulphur-soaked town of Rotorua. If you’re starting to resemble a muddy prune, flush out the mud rafting over the waterfalls, discover the Disneyland of mountain biking, or jump into the real-life landscapes of Tolkien’s dreams on the Hobbiton Shire escape.
Day 3 | Rotorua to Tongariro National Park | The heat is on as we flex our muscles, hit the footy field and learn the gentleman's game from the future All Blacks at the NZ Sports Academy. Geothermal activity gets turned up to 11 with bubbling mud pools, and if that's not enough, you can jump off a bridge as we pass by the largest lake in New Zealand. Lake Taupo was formed by an explosion that extended the Ice Age, so yeah, it's pretty big. It's also time to meet the dessert that's caused a battle between NZ and Australia since someone whipped an egg white: the pavlova.
Day 4 | Tongariro National Park | Binoculars and a digital camera should have been essentials for the Hobbits as they climbed through Mordor. Good thing you came prepared. With dual cultural and natural heritage status, and often described as the most epic hike in NZ, Tongariro NP is home to two active volcanoes that will hopefully keep a lid on things. The Tongariro Alpine Crossing will quickly top your list of favorites if you don't mind heights and the odd dormant lava chamber (and walks from 20 mins to 8 hours). Hike, raft or mountain bike then hit the spa and warm your feet by the fire in an alpine lodge overlooking Mt Doom.
Day 5 | Tongariro National Park to Wellington | From hiking over lava to readjusting to city life, today we hit the nation's capital, Wellington (no, it's not Auckland!). After you conquer the six floors of Te Papa, you'll probably be ready for a big city nightlife hit. With more bars and restaurants per capita than New York and a well-earned spot as the sporting capital of NZ, you can't go wrong with a craft beer and some local rugby action.
Day 6 | Wellington to Nelson | Ferry across the Cook Strait through Marlborough Sounds and into the arms of the world's best Sav Blanc for a private tasting in a family owned vineyard. Work out how many bottles you can fit in your suitcase without breaking your back. With postcard-perfect vistas and 35,000 hectares under vines she's a slice of heaven, yeah, she's a slice of heaven, yeah.
Day 7 | Nelson | Dense forest, snow capped mountains and acres of pinot noir grapes. Green, white and red… no wonder Nelson has been referred to as the Naples of the southern hemisphere. Throw clay or wield a paintbrush in the creative artist hub. Skydive, kayak or take a hike through the mountains, forests and waters of Abel Tasman National Park. Or go treasure hunting in Nelson's galleries. Round out the day with a traditional Kiwi BBQ dinner catered by yours truly. Not bad, Nelson. Not bad.
Day 8 | Nelson to Christchurch | The dolphins here are happier than hipsters in a cold-pressed juice bar. Make more marine mates and brace yourself for the triple threat of acrobatic sperm whales, orcas and humpbacks on a whale watching tour and melt over the cuteness of fur seals under the falls. Fancy some 'fush and chups'? You're spoilt for choice in Kaikoura where Kai = Food and Koura = Crayfish. Then on to Christchurch, which matched the 2011 shakedown and raised it with new pop-up bars, and a container shopping precinct.
Day 9 | Christchurch to Fox Glacier | Roll across the pastoral patchwork quilt that forms the Canterbury Plains as 50 shades of green melt into snow-topped peaks. Hang out in Hokitika for whitebait fritters and Pounamu (Jade) shopping then cross your fingers for the money shot of NZ's two tallest mountain peaks reflected in Lake Matheson for the #picoftheday. Excited? You should be.
Day 10 | Fox Glacier to Queenstown | Today's your chance to walk on water. Well, frozen glacial water to be precise. For your next miracle, scale a mountain in minutes to get amongst ethereal ice caves and formations. With barely enough time to let your heart rate thaw, we journey back through the mountains past Lake Wanaka and Lake Hawea. Feel your pulse start to quicken as we roll into Queenstown-he who dares wins, so will it be one giant swing or two?
Day 11 | Queenstown | Here's some basic math: Queenstown has over 220 activities-you have two days. No rush. This lakeside city has adrenaline on tap and will match any adventure you had in mind and then throw a Fergburger in there for good measure. Get your fix with bungy, a narrow canyon swing, Shotover Jet, or paragliding, hiking, horse riding and the skyline gondola. If you're bored here, there's something wrong. Need some time out? Head to the Kiwi Birdlife Park, soak in a Japanese onsen, or kick back with a local pinot.
Day 12 | Queenstown | Free day, take two. Jump off more stuff or chill out and let your pulse drop. Your call.
Day 13 | Queenstown to Fiordland | Instagram account meltdown warning! Today is going to chew through your memory cards with the Mirror Lakes and Hollyford Valley as the double layer cake and Milford Sound the icing. Sheer rock faces towering 1,200m above sea level, wildlife and waterfalls combine like an inch-thick chocolate ganache… 100% pure mouth-watering decadence out on the sound. You probably won't see any woolly mammoths, but dolphins and fur seals? You can pretty much bet your snow boots on it. Steeped in Maori myth, this is a history and geology lesson rolled into one, minus the homework.
Day 14 | Fiordland to Lake Ohau | Now we ain't sayin' you're a gold-digger, but back in the heyday of Arrowtown, everyone was. Recharge your batteries with venison burgers and a central Otago pinot noir in Arrowtown then zigzag across the five bridges that span the ever-changing Arrow River. Test your nerves on the suspension bridge then chill out by the crystal clear river waters while you catch your breath. Then cue relaxation and a chance to practice your stone-skimming skills in Lake Ohau.
Day 15 | Lake Ohau to Christchurch | Lap up Lake Pukaki under the shadow of Mt Cook. It's about as Kiwi as 'fush and chups'. Then shift into sheep country, where furry buggers outnumber humans 12:1 and the supermodel scenery once again takes centre stage. It makes sense that today includes the Church of the Good Shepherd, a monument to the faithful sheep dog and a chance to watch the ankle biters in action on a Kiwi farm. Hey now, hey now, don't dream it's over… we finish in Christchurch but where will you go next?
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